Why Did They Cancel "The Cape"?

Why did they cancel "The Cape"? It's a question I ask myself every night. Nay, every second of every day. My heart is heavy. I cannot sleep, as my fevered dreams are full of haunting visions of "The Cape"- visions that shall never come to pass. My gut burns with the acid of disappointment (this may also be due to the office coffee). My hair has started to turn snow white, and my behaviour in public has become extremely erratic. I take my meagre- and now tasteless- meals in a fort I have constructed of couch cushions and my limited edition "The Cape" Snuggy. I can no longer find pleasure in life's simple joys, like farting in a most hated enemy's chair when they are on their lunch break. I flew too close to the sun (and in this case, the sun was the sheer ridiculousness of "The Cape"), and now I face a fall back to the unforgiving earth.

Here is the simple truth of it: "The Cape" was just too awesome. Other television shows felt threatened. And instead of stepping up their game, to be just as nonsensically demented as this paragon of entertainment, they sneaked up behind "The Cape" when it was asleep and slit its throat. The cowardly other shows on television crept back into the shadows, where they continued to be mediocre.

"The Cape" bled out in the darkness. No one was there to witness this death of a hero, this passing of an era. "The Cape"- while an astonishing hot mess of wonderful/awfulness- was but a mortal after all.

Weeks from now, when you tune in to NBC on Sunday nights, you will be greeted with a reality show about psychic dogs, or asshole robots. It will be familiar to you, and most importantly, it will be inoffensive and completely un-challenging. You will forget "The Cape" ever existed. You will carry on.

But I will not. I will remember. And I will weep. You will find me placing a solitary rose under my CRT Sony Vega. You will find me writing "The Cape" fan fic under the name ChessLover. You will find me dressed as Orwell at science fiction conventions. BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS TO REMEMBER. Or the Ark Corporation wins. Or something. I don't know. I could barely follow the plot of "The Cape". Could you? Meh.